For some reason I haven't been able to let this one go. Maybe some relief is in sight. I ran over to Trader Joe's the other night to get some last minute things for dinner preparation. You see I can do that! And I love it. It's sooooo close to my house! We use to have a Lucky's store which turned into an Albertson's - which then closed as there is another one further down the road. When we first moved here there was also a little Holiday Market where In Motion Fitness is now. I have missed the little stores, I knew them like the back of my hand and could run in and get something quickly. And now I have Trader Joe's - though I did see the other day that they've put up a "Grocery Store Outlet" sign on the old Lucky's building..... We'll see. We have one of those south of town. I've been there once in 12 years! So anyway, back to what I was saying...
I came out of Trader Joe's and I was putting my grocery bag into the trunk when this man on a bike came walking between my car and another. He's smoking a cigarette. I don't really remember what he was wearing, doesn't matter. So he says to me "Excuse me ma'am, can you spare some change". And I smiled and shook my head and said "No". Before I could finish what I was going to say he was onto the next person. I was actually going to add "Sorry" into my response. So he's dismissal of me caused me to turn around and look at him more closely. And I have to tell you this guy was on a really nice bike. Huh? I'm sure I've been approached by this guy before in this same parking lot. So I must of had a bewildered look on my face because the next thing I knew a woman walking by said to me "Don't feel bad, he just did the same thing to me, and honestly if he spent the time he spends begging looking for a job he wouldn't be in this position". To which I replied, "I was just checking out his really nice bike". So she continued on to her car and I got into my car. I kept replaying the encounter over in my head, not really understanding why it was affecting me. I just kept going back to the bike. It made me think of the time a few years back when Kevin was doing the annual food basket deliveries for the Salvation Army - something he does every year. He was helping this lady out to her car with this box of food and she stops at a brand new Ford Excursion. It seemed so out of place. Could be she was borrowing the car? Maybe he was borrowing the bike. For me I am not comfortable giving people on the street "spare" change. I'm very uncomfortable with the begging. Even though I'm an ENFJ (Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging-Myers-Briggs Type) or as my family refers to me an Extrovert. The only one in our family of 5. Anyway, I'm really only comfortable in my environment - I'm somewhat shy towards people before I get to know them. So I don't want to be approached by people on the streets. They are invading my space and I didn't invite them! We have had conversations in the car about people begging on the street corners. My kids have lots of questions about them. They read the signs and want to know what it means. There is a couple that stands at the intersection of Cohasset and Pillsbury, a corner that we frequent often. And this couple has been there for a while. And the kids have a million questions about them as we wait for the light to change. I answer honestly from my prospective - because I've never had a conversation with them personally. What would I know - I've never been in there situation - heck I don't even know what there situation is. But for me I choose not to give that way. They stand there with stone cold looks on there faces and won't make eye contact with you. It's sad, I get it - but isn't there something they can do? I'm also thankful I have tinted windows! I do wonder how they can stand there for hours at a time. And why isn't one of them out looking for a job while the other is begging? I did work for a (horrible) woman once - oops! Did I say horrible?... Anyway, we were coming back from lunch one time and she made this big to do about giving to this man standing on the side of the road. It was so much more about making herself look good then it was about giving - it totally turned me off! We have chosen our charity causes and stick to them. Plus with school and Kevin involved in Kiwanis and myself with Omega Nu - we are tapped! These days everyone wants your money! So I guess what I wanted to say was that a) I don't like when people beg - I don't let my kids beg, I certainly don't want an adult begging b) I don't need anyone knowing that I gave, nor do I need to be thanked, acknowledged or what not. I give because it's the right thing to do and it brings me joy. Period. I wish I could say end of story - but it brings up a whole new post idea. Maybe tomorrow!
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Now you know that I can’t let this one pass without a comment! Let’s go back to the “brand new Excursion”… Does driving one mean anything at all? I know; -our practical minds say that the person should sell the car and then they can buy groceries. Problem solved. So we are placing our own logic into an equation where we have no other facts to work with. We’re making judgments. Should we make those who ask for food to take a hunger test? If someone says they are hungry, we should feed them. No questions asked. I’m already upset by the fact that the Orland Food Pantry insists that the recipient display a drivers license with an Orland address. Why? If they don’t have an Orland address, should we tell them to just try drinking more water…it make you feel full!
Giving food without question to strangers is one of the most basic acts of human kindnesses. Heaven help us if we forget that.
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