The Agony of ......?

I've been struggling with something for quite awhile now and even now as I begin this journey I'm scared out of my wits. I have the ability to do it. I want it. For me! How is it you can be so conscious of something and yet not have the power to overcome it? How can you want something more than anything, yet never take a step towards it? These are questions I ask myself on a daily basis. Over and over I fill my head with these questions.....

Am I afraid of success or failure? Isn't success something you create in your own mind? Don't we create our own reality? If that's true, why do I agonize myself.... Self sabotage is an awful thing. The dictionary definition of sabotage is "an act or process tending to hamper or hurt" or "deliberate subversion". Well I'm saying today.... I'm done with that. I'm going for it! It's going to hurt like hell - but I'm going for it. This is it!

"Too often we are scared. Scared of what we might not be able to do. Scared of what people might think if we tried. We let our fears stand in the way of our hopes. We say no when we want to say yes. We sit quietly when we want to scream. And we shout with the others, when we should keep our mouths shut. Why? After all,we do only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid. So stop. Try something you've never tried. Risk it. Enter a triathlon. Write a letter to the editor. Demand a raise. Call winners at the toughest court. Throw away your television. Bicycle across the United States. Try bobsledding. Try anything. Speak out against the designated hitter. Travel to a country where you don't speak the language. Patent something. You have nothing to lose and everything everything everything to gain. JUST DO IT." - 1992: Barry Sanders

A Poem

A Poem Of You Tell On Yourself...

You Tell On YOURSELF By Friends You Keep
By Simple Very Manner In Which You Speak
By How You Employ Your Leisure Time
By How You Spend Your Dollar And Dime

You Tell On Yourself By Things You Wear
By Spirit In Which Your Burdens Bear
By The Things At Which You Laugh
By Music You Play On Your Record Player

You Tell On Yourself By The Way You Walk
By Things In Which You Delight To Talk
By The Manner In Which You Bear Defeat
By So Simple A Thing As How You Eat
By Books You Choose From Well Filled Shelf
By Dumb Or Great Poem That You Write

In These Ways More You Tell On Yourself
So,There Is No Particle Of Sense In Effort To Keep Up False Pretense...
Make Peace With Your False Pretense!

Author Unknown

Put Your Hands Up!

You just can't help but laugh! The more I hear the funnier it gets!.... When the call came in on Tuesday of last week I was a little panicked. Knowing that my husband and son where traveling on the wintry roads I was prepared for anything. But when the gal on the phone explained that she was calling from Chico PD I knew I was okay as far as my family was concerned. Of course she did not have her facts straight and could not answer most of my questions. Huh?.... She was the one calling me, right?..... Short of it was - that during the course of a high speed chase (stolen vehicle) the vehicle driven by a 16 year old missed the corner and ran up on my neighbors yard, grazed the side of their house and ran into our fence. Of course they knocked out our irrigation system, thus the water had to be shut off. Unfortunately/Fortunately neither the neighbor nor us were home at the time! We ended up coming home 2 days early so we could take care of the repairs - that was our saving grace! It literally took Kevin 3 days to get it working again. I have the muddy clothes and boots to prove it!.....

So I was a little surprised yesterday afternoon when we were leaving the house and hearing someone say "Can I talk with you for a minute". I looked up and saw a Police car sitting across the street and an officer walking towards me. He introduced himself as the arresting officer. After a few minutes of story comparison..... He tells me that they arrested the driver hiding inside our boat at gunpoint. Apparently the older guy jumped the fence and hid behind someones air conditioning unit. I had heard from a neighbor that they thought they were hiding behind ours - which I found disturbing! But the younger driver had run through our yard and jumped into our old boat and hid under the carpeting and was using his cell phone to "phone a friend", guess he was looking for a ride....! From what the officer told me they nailed him by following his muddy footprints..... Now if that isn't funny I don't know what is! Dumb criminals!

And now this morning we woke up to a broken window in the front of the house. Apparently we have enemies! Or at least the dispatcher is obligated to ask me that question. It was the bedroom window on my side and either I'm a deep sleeper or it happened when we were gone but never noticed until this morning. Oh well - it's covered under our "lifetime guarantee" So no harm no foul!.... Starting the year off right!.....

You Should Try This!

I did try some new recipes for the Thanksgiving Day feast..... And I have to say the Sweet Potato Casserole that I tried from Pioneer Woman Cooks website was the best thing. Ever. And then I made this delicious Apple Pie. Whoa Nellie! I've been reading this blog for a couple years. I have tried many of the recipes. And to be quite honest - there isn't anything I wouldn't make again. They have all been great recipes. I love her stories. She has a way of writing that makes you feel like you are best friends. She is an amazing photographer. She's my hero! Now if only I could win one of her many prize give-aways!....

Whew!

It's only going to keep feeling like a race until the first of January, right?.... We had a perfect Thanksgiving break. I really would have enjoyed a few more days off with the kids. They only have 13 more days of school before the next holiday break. I'm looking forward to that. We spent our Thanksgiving up at the cabin - the weather was just amazing. Unusual for sure. We ended up not leaving to go up until Monday - but I opened the cabin by myself for the first time. Inside was only about 38 degrees when we got there at 5 PM. But was already up to 60 degrees by 9 PM. We just piled the blankets on and wore stocking caps to bed.... I was a bit worried when we woke up at 6:30 AM and it was still only 65 degrees - but alas we reached a warm 70 degrees at some point that day!

So of course we ate too much, relaxed, played hours of Wii and had some fun! We ended up going to Hauns Meadow (or Van's pond) for some fishing and shooting practice!.... A Thanksgiving tradition with Kevin's family. On Friday we did the tradition of going into town and viewing the 2nd Annual Parade of Lights and than the Merchant Walk (Chester's take on Christmas Preview). Really brings in the Holiday spirit. I've never gone out on Black Friday to shop - so I didn't feel left out of that at all! And than of course it was all over and time to head home. I was talking with the kids about that on the drive home - we are all on the same page - we all love going up there - but we love coming home too! It was weird for me this time...... When we got back into town I was looking around and thinking how different everything looked - after only a week. Happy to be here - thankful, grateful and relaxed! Hope I'm still feeling it in a few weeks!.....

4 More Days!

I'm so ready for this election to be over I can hardly stand it..... It's the first time in my 23 years of voting that I can actually remember so much debate amongst the parties. Very well could have been there before - maybe I was better at ignoring it. Maybe I disagree more with what I'm hearing? I'm a little offended by the email forwards - like this one I received last night. (I'm not correcting their spelling or grammar errors!)

Many of you know I'm not an Obama supporter. In the beginning, I kept an open mind but their ARE too many unanswered questions. I researched some of this on the net and it's true, I could not find one of these inquires. Something to think about especially if you are leaning toward the Obama side. I'm not saying McCain is great either but at least hes not hiding information. Look it up and see for yourself. -(name removed for privacy) ps. if you find anything, let me know. I would be very intrested.

She was responding to this email she received.


As we come to the last week of this very long Presidential Race, I dreamed I was "Joe The Plumber" .Here are my questions for Mr Obama:

Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir Excuse me Mr. Obama, Imean Senator Obama, sir. Um . . know you are busy and importantand stuff. I mean running for president is very important and .. . ah . . . I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute ok,sir? See, I have these missing pieces that are holding meup, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of yourbusy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just someloose ends and things. I can't seem to get someinformation I need to wrap this up. These things seem to eitherbe 'locked' or 'not available'. I'm sure it's just someoversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell mewhere these things are . . . I . . I . . . have them writtendown here somewhere . . . oh wait. Sorry about the smears. Itwas raining out. I'll just read it to you. Could you helpme please find these things, sir? 1. Occidental Collegerecords -- Not released 2. Columbia College records -- Notreleased 3. Columbia Thesis paper -- not available, locked downby faculty 4. Harvard College records -- Not released, lockeddown by faculty 5. Selective Service Registration -- Notreleased 6. Medical records -- Not released 7. Illinois StateSenate schedule -- 'not available' 8. Law practice client list-- Not released 9. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate- - Not released 10. Embossed, signed paper Certification ofLive Birth -- Not released 11. Harvard Law Review articlespublished -- None 12. University of Chicago scholarly articles-- None 13. Your Record of baptism-- Not released or 'notavailable' 14. Your Illinois State Senate records--'notavailable' You couldn't get a job at McDonalds and becomedistrict manager after 143 days of experience. You couldn'tbecome chief of surgery after 143 days of experience of being asurgeon. You couldn't get a job as a teacher and be thesuperintendent after 143 days of experience. You couldn't jointhe military and become a colonel after 143 days of experience. You couldn't get a job as a reporter and become the nightlynews anchor after 143 days of experience. BUT.... 'From thetime Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to thetime he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratorycommittee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate.That's how many days the Senate was actually in session andworking. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed hewas ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World.... 143 days. We all have to start somewhere. The senate is agood start, but after 143 days, that's all it is - a start. AND, strangely, a large sector of the American public is okaywith this and campaigning for him. We wouldn't accept this inour own line of work, yet some are okay with this for thePresident of the United States of America ? Come on folks, weare not voting for the next American Idol! Please, pleaseforward this before it's too late!!!! Until he answers these questions,
I would NEVER vote for him.....Would You???

Vern Wigley - I don't know Vern - so I'm leaving him in there.

So than this morning I get this awful "reply to all" email.

Here is how I feel...
McCain scares the hell outta me.. plus what kind of foreign policy experience does Plain have???? ZERO.....do we really want someone with NO experience dealing our foreign commanders???? I don't... Biden at least is brilliant and very experienced in foreign policies...
I watched the special last night on Obama... and he does answer alot of questions I had in my mind.......I have been a sceptic since the beginning... saying very closeminded comments about Obama and why he should not even be allowed to run for president.. so I was on your side... but ...... I have been doing my research and trying to be fair.. and in the process.... I have really learned alot... and NOT from the internet...... all that information you describe below is available to see... its just not so easy to acquire...especially when you are running for president.... it's not being hidden..don't you think if all that information was unaccessablie to anyone of authority in this country.. it would be all over the news??.do you really believe half the crap that is out there on the internet??? the majority of it is posted by McCain/Palin supporters to deter anyone away from learning any truth about Obama.. What I have seen and heard myself from watching the actual candidates speak is that the Mcain/Palin side sure spends alot of time trying to slander their opponents and less time explaining who they are and what they offer...... while Obama/Biden spend alot of time really trying to explain who they are and what they are about. What they believe in and why... How things can change and when....
Bottom line is...... Is anyone ever going to be 100% truthful in politics... probably not.... but.... I gotta tell you.. I believe in Obama and what he stands for.... and this comes from many hours of really listening to Obama/Biden and McCain/Palin...
I'm sure some of you will not agree with me... but be honest.... those of you who dont agree.. how much true research have you done? Or have you just been listening to "internet rumors" or "half truths" or being swayed by others around you and their opinions.... Cause I know I would be right where I was in the beginning of all this had I not really taken the time to find out for myself....

I say OBAMA 08

Lynda (again don't know Lynda - so I'm leaving her in there)


Do these people have no shame? Do they honestly think I want to hear what they are saying. How dare they "reply to all" - tacky! You know I can put up with a friend feeling the need to reach out to people. But when your friends friends turn around and "reply to all" that is when I lose it. Kind of like last night - when the phone rang at 8:45 PM and I looked at the caller ID and it said "protect marriage". Are you kidding me? Now these people are whacked. It's a good thing I couldn't get the phone to answer - I may have unleashed on the person! I have been so offended by there tactics it makes me not want to vote at all. These people have come to my door and spewed their garbage in front of daughter - to which I than had to have a conversation with her because of what she heard - one I was not ready to have. I than received some unpleasant mail from them as well. They will no doubt keep trying - I may get my chance..... Where do these people come from. Enough. I'm done. I voted weeks ago and I have to be subjected to this. I want a button to push - Yeah sorry I've already voted - go away!

Oh Yeah!

Baked Brie "Special"

This is my new favorite appetizer...... Again a friend shared the recipe with me. My kind of cooking - Easy! You just take one of the big Brie rounds from Costco. You than get a Pillsbury French Loaf in the dairy case of any grocery store - except of course the market in Greenville. I've tried that and it didn't work out for me. We had a party to go to in Taylorsville and stopped in at the market on the way home and the selection was a bit slim! So I had to run into Chester to get that one thing before the next party of the day - two parties in one day = too much! The Greenville Market is a nice quaint store if you only need the basics. We actually shopped there a few times this summer to try something different. It's about the same distance for us on our side of the lake to go to Greenville or Chester. Oops! Off subject....

Okay - so where was I? Brie from Costco - check, Pillsbury French Loaf - check. Apricot Jam, now I choose the Low Sugar version because you also sprinkle brown sugar on the top before baking. You can choose any kind or flavor. Of course you'll want to preheat the oven to 350 degrees. First you place the brie in a pie dish (or round baking dish), take the French Loaf and stretch it around the brie. You can roll it between your hands to lengthen it. You then spread the Apricot Jam over the top, even spreading on the French Loaf. Next step is to sprinkle the top with brown sugar. Now just pop it into the oven and bake 30 to 40 minutes. In the last 5 minutes of baking you toss slivered almonds over the top too! Enjoy!